نمونه رایتینگ تافل با نمره‌ی wr94393

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Personally speaking, I believe that we must use our opportunities in the best way, therefore, if someone offers us a secure job we must accept that and do not wait for a better job. There are numerous clear reasons and I would explore some important ones here.


The first exquisite reason is that we must use any opportunity in our life [1]. For example, by increasing a competition among people, especially graduate people it has become so arduous to find a job even if that job is not our favorite [2]. To shed more light on the issue let me take you back a few years ago to when I was in university. I was studying control engineering at the University of Tabriz which was one of the best universities in Iran; As a result, I hoped that I could find a good job after my graduation. I had been studying three terms when I saw the advertisement on the bulletin board which wanted a part-time programmer, but they paid so little [3]. I decided to talk about the job with my friend who was looking for a job [4], but He told me that this job is not satisfying and He decided to wait to find the better one. hence, I decided to take that job myself. I have been working in that company for three years and now I have a better position and  (a)full-time job but my friend still is looking for a job and since competition for jobs is increasing every day it is becoming difficult for him to find a job. As can be seen, we must use all our opportunities in our life, especially job opportunities otherwise we may lose them.


Another reason which requires a special attention is that every time if we can find a better job we can leave our previous job but it can help us to increase our experience and even find a better job [5],[6]. As a vivid example, by working at that company I have increased my experience and today I have a lot of good offer from other companies. In no way, can I imagine I can get these offers without taking that job a few years ago. In light of such evidence, it becoming extremely arduous to ignore the role of using our opportunity especially accept the job offers in our life, even if they are not lead to our job satisfaction. [7]


To wrap it up, considering all of the mentioned facts lead us to the conclusion that, why I believe we need to accept the job offers especially secure ones, even if it was not lead to our job satisfaction. Indeed, not only, getting the jobs help us to do not losing our opportunity but also help us to increase our experience and find the better jobs.


status score
Word Choice | انتخاب واژگان use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning: (4 4
Organization and Development | توسعه دادن نوشته generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications, and/or details(4 4
Addressing Topic | بیان مسئله Addresses well, but some points may not be fully elaborated: (4 4
Unity, Progression and Coherence | یک پارچگی متن it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections(4 4
Grammar | ساختار های صحیح demonstrating syntactic variety, it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors(5 5
Vocabulary | املای صحیح range of vocabulary, noticeable minor errors that do not interfere with meaning(4 4

نظر مشاور

[1] The first exquisite reason is that we must capture any opportunity in our life specifically when we are talking about securing a job.
[2] By Increasing the number of unemployed graduate people it has become so arduous to find a job even if that job is not our favorite.
[3] but the payment was so small.
[4] I decided to talk about that ad with my friend who was looking for a job
[5]Another reason which requires a special attention is that we can leave our old job anytime if we find a better job.
[6] But it increases our work experience and even help us find a better job.
[7] In light of such evidence, it becomes extremely arduous to ignore the role of using our opportunity especially by accepting job offers in our life, even if they are not lead to our dream job.

****** Please kindly rate your opinion at the end****