Throughout history, work and jobs have a very crucial repercussion for all people and their society. A plethora of people are the leading proponents of the claim that working very fast and making mistakes are necessary for success in any fields, whereas other precisely hold the opposite one. I personally believe that, nowadays, doing work in a slow speed and making sure for correcting of any things in jobs are more important. Not having time for compensating and having bad influence on mind of people are two reasons for my outstanding idea. To substantiate my point of view, all the following paragraphs will elucidate my viewpoint.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that there is not enough time for making faults in real world. To be precise, all of us come in this world only for one time. If we made a big mistake in our life, there is no other chance for creating the new situation. Take a personal experience as an example; when I was in university, I decided to select the communication for my future job. I believed that if I did not keep on this field, I would had changed it so readily. But unfortunately, never did I change my field until my end of life, I must continue doing communication in factory. As a consequence of this instance, people have one choice for selecting the future job. Thus, so important is it, that people embark on thinking before the making decision in important event.
Furthermore, it is an indisputable that making mistakes during the jobs has bad influence on mind. In other words, people derive a sense of failure by making mistakes in any field. It engendered their mind to release the special chemical substance being responsible for failure and sad manners of human being. As a vivid example, my brother is an engineer in industry and management. He had a very big factory adjacent of our city. In the last year, he could not manage his plant in an appropriate way. He decided to experience a very large risk in circle of industry but regrettably, inflation is occurred that year. He failed in rival because of the increasing the rate of inflation. This risk making mistakes had influence not only in his assets but also in his mind and manners. He invariably was sad and depressed. Had did he not to make mistake, he never would have annoyed this event.
To wrap it up, all the enumerated reasons lead us to the conclusion that it is more significant to do duty slowly and make sure that everything is proper. Not only do not people have adequate time for making faults but also making big mistakes has a detrimental effect on mind.
|Word Choice | انتخاب واژگان||serious and frequent errors: (1||1|
|Organization and Development | توسعه دادن نوشته||somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications, and/or details(3||3|
|Addressing Topic | بیان مسئله||Addresses well, but some points may not be fully elaborated: (4||4|
|Unity, Progression and Coherence | یک پارچگی متن||inadequate connection of ideas(2||2|
|Grammar | ساختار های صحیح||an accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage(2||2|
|Vocabulary | املای صحیح||inappropriate choice of words(2||2|
به نظرم انننقدر زیاده روی کردی در بکار بردن لغات و گرامر عجیب غریب بیخودی (یعنی اصصصصلا جاش نبوده و البته در اکثر موارد غلط انجام شده) که من مجبور شدم سه بار این متن رو بخونم.
قبل از سابمیت متن لطفا خودت سعی کن از روی متن بخونی. اگه مصحح بخواد نمره coherence , word choice به این متن بده جای هیچ تردیدی نیست که نمره اش صفره!
پر از اشتباهات گرامری، زمان های اشتباه ، جا انداختن، نحوه نوشتن کاملا فارسی فقط با لغت های زیبای انگلیسی.
این به این معنی نیست که زبانت خوب نیست چه که عالی هم هست چون این چیزایی که نوشتی رو خیلیییا نمیدونن ولی به شرطی که ازش بتونی درست و به موقع استفاده کنی.
پیشنهاد میکنم متنت رو فعلا تو لیمیت زمانی ننویس
قشنگ یه دو ساعت وقت بذار
سعی کن بلند از روش بخونی تا کاملا خودت نتونستی روون و با سرعت بخونی یعنی متنت اشکال دار.
اشکالی که ازت میپیرم اینه که یکم این کلمه هایی که مشخص کردم رو ببینی و خودت متوجه میشی که با استفاده نابجا از یه لغت متنت رو ناشیوا و بد کردی.