نمونه رایتینگ تافل با نمره‌ی wr37072

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important to know about events happening around the world,even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.

Since the dawn of civilization being aware of events which happen in the world have been one of the challenging issues in all the societies.[1] By and large, it is established beyond doubt that people like to be aware of events happening around the world. However, they attend to pay attention to the news which is beneficial form (for) them. On the other hand, some people believe that they should be aware of all the events even if it is unlikely that they affect their daily life. I personally contend to (with) the latter idea. I explicate my viewpoint through the following paragraphs.
Firstly, although some events have negative effects on people's emotions [2], they encourage people to be helpful and help people that are in trouble. For instance, there are wars in other countries and a lot of people missed their houses [3]. As a result, other societies should help these people through money or provide essential goods for them or send them drugs [4].
Furthermore, some events are beneficial for people. people can predict the result of these events and make their decisions in the best way [5]. For instance, the value of the dollar is a sensitive issue in Iran. If the value of this currency goes up or fall down [6], it has a large effect on the prices of goods.As a result, a lot of events have a direct or indirect effect on the jobs of people.So individuals should be aware of the event to prevent failure in their works.
To wrap it up, all the enumerated reasons coverage to the point that people should pay enough attention to all the news about events which happen around the world. The annals of successful people are filled with the name of those who managed to be aware of all the event in their world. in this way, they can reach their goals. However, that was the story in a nutshell. There are other reasons which are not mentioned above. it is suggested that a survey can be conducted to find out all the factors which may affect the situation.


status score
Word Choice | انتخاب واژگان use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning: (4 4
Organization and Development | توسعه دادن نوشته generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications, and/or details(4 4
Addressing Topic | بیان مسئله Addresses well, but some points may not be fully elaborated: (4 4
Unity, Progression and Coherence | یک پارچگی متن it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections(4 4
Grammar | ساختار های صحیح demonstrating syntactic variety, it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors(5 5
Vocabulary | املای صحیح range of vocabulary, noticeable minor errors that do not interfere with meaning(4 4

نظر مشاور

[1] It is strongly recommended to start your introduction with some "hooks" which grasp the attention of the readers. This hook could be a question or statistics or something like that: " The rate of inflation in Caracas its climax this month”. You have encountered this type of news many times in TV, newspapers or radio every day and you might ask yourself why you need this kind of information! It is also better to paraphrase the topic
[2] Although some events induce emotional resentment for the people,
[3] Refuge from their homes is better.
[4] Should help these people financially or provide medications and essential goods for them.
[5] Knowledge of some events are beneficial for people to facilitate their decision making on some occasions.
[6] fluctutation of dollar value against Rial